It's a Journal, thank you very much
by JellicleJuggalo
Summary: Pouncival's Mom makes him get a diar...oh, sorry, Journal, and he resentfully writes in it. Part of Nekosoda's diary project, see her for more info.
1. September 1 and 2

September 1st

Mood: Booooooooored

Hi. My name's Pouncival. I don't care what it says on your cover, you're a journal, not a diary. Journals are waaay cooler than diaries. Spacemen have journals. When I grow up, I wanna live on the Moon. My Mom says I have to write in you, to "let out my feelings" or something like that. I think it's stupid. My friend Etcetera says her diary has a name, I think I'll name you buttface.

I started school two days ago, so I guess I'll write down my schedule, since I've got nothing else to write.

First hour I have French (which is stupid, it's all like "le jambon" and "la fromage" and...BRB, I'm hungry.

Back. So anyways, French sucks, but my hommies Mistoffolees, Victoria, Plato and Tumblebrutus are there, which is pretty cool. The teacher yells at me when I speak English though.

Oh! And on Friday, I don't have French, I get to do swimming instead. I'm definitely looking forward to that, not because I like swimming, but because I like swimming SUITS. especially on Etcy. Mrowr. Don't tell her I said that, though. Oh, and my Mom heard that swimming is great exercise, and she thinks I'm fat. THAT'S REALLY MEAN, MOM.

Second, I have Biology, which is really annoying, because it's all memorization, and you have to cut up dead stuff. Mostly the dead stuff thing, though. I don't even like seeing dead stuff. Unless it's food. One second, I need to get more food.

Then third I have world history with Electra, Etcetera, Jemima, and Vicky. Being with the ladies is nice, but History is even more boring than French. it's all like, dead guys did stuff. Nazis killed people. Stop drawing guns, Pouncival. What happened in 1932. I'm gonna fail. And the teacher sucks too.

Fourth, I have the greatest class ever: LUNCH. Nuff said.

Fifth, I have Calculus, because I'm actually good at math (even if I hate it, and feel like a computer when I'm doing it). I managed to get a 100% on the final test last year, which I'm very proud of.

And finally, I had Chemistry last, but I dropped it, because nobody I know is in it, and my teacher says he won't teach us how to make drugs. WELL FUCK YOU, MR. LYCHY. And everyone knows the best drugs are the natural ones. Oh, did I mention I said that? Well, I got sent home, and that's why I have this Journal now.

Good night Buttface!

* * *

September 2nd

Mood: Happy, but a little confused

Dear Buttface,

Today, Victoria was sick, so me and Electra went to visit her, and brought her some soup. She kept looking at me in this really weird way though. Like there was something she wanted to tell me, but was too embarrassed. Like my fly was down or something. And it wasn't. I checked. It's not like I'm the one who wore their underwear on the outside on the second day of school. I usually save that for some special occasion.

Anyways, that's all I have to say for tonight.

Good night, Buttface.

* * *

A/N: Sorry if this is short or disorganized, I wrote the majority of this while losing a personal war on insomnia. There is sand in my bed. There is no plausible source of sand anywhere near my house. I am very frightened.


	2. September 3 and 4

(A/N: I might use slang from my area by accident, if I use a word that seems odd, and you don't know what I means, just write it in a review, I'll post definitions.)

* * *

September 3

Dear Buttface,

Admetus got suspended yesterday, he wouldn't tell me why, and Mom was furious, so I couldn't ask her. I couldn't sleep last night because she was screaming at him. I meant to write in my journal, but I left it in my backpack, which was by the front door. I hate it when people shout. When I asked him what he did, he told me to fuck off, and reminded me that he's still mad at me for getting "lost" on Monday. I was just getting a coffee, how the hell was I supposed to know Addie was supposed to walk home with me?

On that cheery note, I got up early today so I could make breakfast before school, but I'll probably waste it writing in my journal instead. But I'm looking forward to school today. You know why? Because it's SWIMMIN DAY, and I'm a fuckin' perv. A lot of people don't know that, but frankly, I'm okay with that. I see the way people look at my brother Addie. But I'm hungry now, so I'm gonna make some food.

Ball o' cheese = best breakfast evar.

Okay, I'm not looking forward to swimmin day anymore. Let's just say I swim like a brick, and I've never been this embarrassed in my life. Actually, nevermind, I'm certain I have, but I can't remember it. Anyways, there goes my chances of wheeling Etcy. At least I didn't get a boner in class.

In Biology, sure enough, we cut up dead stuff. Etcetera threw up again. Usual routine. I'm actually a bit worried about Etcy, she throws up a lot, and never has lunch. I hope she knows she's beautiful. Aw shitty, did I just write that? I mean, I guess it's not like anyone's gonna read this anyways…I hope…Oh yeah, and the teacher called her a flower or something, he's seriously creepy. Then again, he's a grown man who spends his days cutting up mice with kids, so I guess it should be expected. But seriously, his breath smells too. It's like his mouth has never seen the presence of a toothbrush.

I'm in world history now, and NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

LUNCHAGE! Have I mentioned I eat a lot? This is going to sound weird, but I'm actually really self conscious about being skinny. Even though my Mom constantly reassures me that I'm a fatass. THANKS AGAIN.

I stole Plato's "manjournal" and threw it in the garbage. I feel really hypocritical. But I need to keep up my manly image foah the laydeez.

I think my Calculus teacher is a bit off his game today. Not only did he spell "function" as "suction", but his shirt is, in fact, inside out.

Normally, I'd go home right now, but Addie doesn't know I dropped my last course, and he's probably jacking off. So I might as well think about classes to take instead. Probably something one of my friends has. I wonder if I can join Etcetera's English class? Naw, she'd probably think I'm stalking her or something. That's only half true.

I don't know what I'm gonna do, Buttface. Sometimes, it seems like you're the only one who understands me. Naw, just kidding. I do wish people listened to me more, though. No emo stuff though.

* * *

September 4

Dear Buttface,

Today, I'm going to the amusement park! So excited! And all my friends are going too! Except Mungojerrie, who I was looking forward to meeting. Him's a ganxsta. Well, he says been in jail, and he steals shit. Close enough. But anyways…AMUSEMENT PARK! It's 5:00am right now, we aren't going for another 4 hours or so, but I'm so excited I can't

I was gonna say sleep up there but I passed out. But yeah, now it's 9:00 am, Addie thinks it's a school day, I'm not gonna ruin his fun, so I'm gonna sneak out front so he thinks I'm at school. Also, I don't wanna hear him whining about not having breakfast, MAKE IT YOURSELF, you lazy turd.

Ughugugugu…Mom forgot, so naturally, it's MY fault for not reminding her. She still let me go though. AWH YEA My friends are here now, talk to you later Buttface!

Sorry for not writing in you all day, I left you at home, cuz I'm paranoid. And I know you're in good hands at home, I got tips on good stash spots from Addie. He's the king of not getting caught. Well, for some things. Staring at girls…Not so much. Seriously dude, just get sunglasses.

But yeah, the amusement park was awesome, I went on almost all the rollercoasters, and didn't throw up on any of them! Well, I threw up in a trash can, but that doesn't count. The point is, I AM THE MASTER OF MY OWN VOMIT. Unlike Plato. He threw up on Vicki, I made fun of him for that, but all was forgiven when Vicki had to take off her shirt. Oh jeez, I'm sounding like my brother. Also, Mungojerrie's sister is HAWT. I feel kinda lecherous for ogling multiple women. I feel like I should just stick to one. I'm such a nerd. I'm going to sleep now. G'night!

* * *

A/N: I am the master of my own vomit. Also, I figured out the sand. They mix it with road salt. Add a dog to the mix, and we have a plausible explanation. Yippee! Definitions will go here if requested.

Definitions:

Ball o' Cheese - Exactly what it sounds like, it's a recipe of my own invention, not some strange Canadian breakfast food :P


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